My heart racing, would someone catch me? I felt almost the same as when i was younger, trying to find a moment to masturbate without my parents finding my magazines and wadded up kleenex. Here i was, horny, alone and shooting cum to videos of women and men sucking of gigantic cocks. I wanted to see what it was like, i wanted to know what a big, throbbing dick in my mouth would feel like. Would i let the guy come in my mouth, what would it taste like, would i ultimately like it or be disgusted by it? Eventually i started to become obsessed by finding glory holes. Where were the good ones? How did you know what a good place was? I was also terrified of catching an STD and i think that's really what stopped me from doing more. Looking back now, i only wish i had investigated it earlier and hadn't been so ashamed of accepting my desires. Was i bisexual? What wouldn't i do? Would someone i know find out and expose me? All these things added to the arousal. I couldn't stop thinking about. ." I'm not," I told him, denying the voice in my head, the one that told me I was being a slut. I was being too easy for the man. He wasn't going to respect me if I was this eager, this willing to put out.I was this easy though and probably a slut, if by that you meant I was willing to decide within an hour or two if I was going to sleep with a man. I'd long since made up my mind about Sam and the smart thing, the best thing would have been to wait, to stretch it out over a week or two, or longer maybe if it was a serious thing. If it was love, oh what a word! If it was that, I should have waited a long, long time. But who was I fooling? Sam was white and so there was an immediacy to my desire, like I might never get him like this again. A silly, irrational thought, I know, but there all the same. I wanted him and I had to have him before my parents could take him away.I kissed him again, just to prove it, and Sam didn't try and play the gentleman anymore. He wanted me just as badly.
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